Ask Martin · Thinking and AI
How do I disagree without destroying the conversation?
Describe the other person’s position so they recognise it. Find common ground, then make the actual disagreement clear.
Begin by describing the other person’s position in a way they recognise. Ask if you have understood it. Identify what you agree about, then make the actual difference clear.
You may still disagree strongly. At least you will be working on the same disagreement, with less need to spend the next ten minutes correcting what each of you allegedly said.
— Martin Poliačik
Try it: Three-step Listening. Show you understand. Find common ground. Then explain the disagreement.